Energy Drink Roundup

Jolt Endurance Shot

Manufacturer: Wet Planet Beverages
Typical Price (UK): £2.40 (inc VAT)
Typical Price (US): $3.99 (exc tax)

Harry: And in a similar vein as the little Mana Potion, we now have Jolt Endurance Shot, in wild grape flavour. And it says, drink one half bottle and reseal…

Clive: And reseal?

Harry: Yeah, it has a screw-cap.

Mark: Two servings per bottle in this one. Not like the Mountain Dew…

Rich: Where one can contained one can of liquid?

Clive: Oh, so this is like a giant potion? That you can get in games. You can get healed twice from one bottle?


Mark: A what, sorry?

Clive: A giant potion…

[Blank stares]

Rich: [laughs]

Clive: … In a generic RPG game of your choosing… [blank stares] … where you have one potion, but you can use it twice… Ahhh, it’s not worth explaining…

Mark: What RPGs do you play>

Clive: Generic RPGs of no particular name.

Harry: [Pouring the drinks] This isn’t going to go well either…

Mark: It’s very, very pruple.

Clive: Very syrupy

Harry: You may as well go chug some golden syrup.

Clive: [Giggles] Yeah, it’s give you the same rush!

Mark: People are actually shaking now… Harry’s shaking as well now. Don’t know if I am…

Harry: Really?

Mark: Yep.

Clive: Ah, wow, I’m shaking really badly…

Harry: [Laughs at the shakiness]

Mark: Ah man, this smells really bad as well. Did you ever have the sweets called lavenders or something?

Rich & Clive: Yeah.

Mark: That’s what it smells like.

Rich: Ahh, that’s really nasty…

Mark: Yeah, it smells like a cross between urine and purple lavenders.

Clive: More like a toilet, than lavender.

Rich: Yeah.

Harry: These concentrated ones seem to be more chemical than drink…

Clive: [Chuckles] They seem to be more toilet than drink! I don’t why they’ve chosen that. It seems an odd choice!

Harry: That’s the flavour for us! Men’s urinal!

[Laughter]

Mark: After the last one, I don’t want to even taste this one because it was so bad.

Clive: No, that Mana was offensive.

Harry: Alright, well let’s give it a taste…

[Rich drinks some Jolt Endurance]

Mark: [Laughs at Rich] Haha! Rich looks like he’s gonna be sick!

Harry: [Drinks some Jolt Endurnace] Yeurgh! That is just as bad!

Mark: It’s disgusting!

Rich: That’s just… sick.

Mark: How do they pass testing?

Harry: [Drinks Jolt Endurance] Arrghgh…

Clive: [Drinks Jolt Endurance, coughs] God, the aftertaste is worse!

Rich: Argh, the flavour sticks to your tongue!

Mark: Yeah, it’s really bad.

Clive: [Laughs at Harry] It looks like you’re crying!

Harry: I am. That’s almost…

Rich: No, that is offensive.

Clive: It’s not quite as bad as the Mana Potion, but it is bad.

Mark: Here you go, have some Pussy, it’ll clean your mouth out a little bit.

[Sniggering]

Harry: Right, that’s the lot then.

Rich: Yeah, that’s all I handle, to be honest!